Dear wife:
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been hell.
Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
——
Dear Ex-Husband
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me.
So take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl.
I hope that’s not a problemgets me everytime!
FUNNIEST SHIT I’VE SEEN IN 2011 !
Anonymous asked: So my comment gets no reply? lol thats cool lil lady ;)
whaaaaat comment ?
this makes black ppl look so degrading but seriously it makes you say WTFFFF. [[warning; this shit is RATCHET]]
braethegay asked: Hey hey. Thanks for the follow. =)
no prob :)
2010 Disapointments!!
- Dark skins vs. Lightskins
- Hop on words. “baybay” “chalupe” “kill” “deww” ”ham”
- Niggas thinking they Larry Hoover.
- Females turning bisexual.
- Females thinking they a “bad bitch” and a “Barbie”
- Girls shaving half of their head.
- Niggas thinking they bill gating
(Source: rollupthewindows)
honesty
so SRD sent me yet another random msg to eff with mii head. she used to be good at it, but at this point i’ve just learned to brush it off. [[this]] time, however, she came at me differently than she ever has before. she said “I think of yu once of every day that passes by”… *this* is usually the part where i roll my eyes && delete the msg, but this time i decided to be polite && read the entire msg. after that part she went on to say that she’s doing her best to leave me alone because she knows that she’d hurt me. now, call me crazy, but i think that thats pretty selfless and mature. to sincerely tell someone something like that earns you like 10 million brownie points lol but seriously though, i appreciate the fact that she told me how she felt AND kept it 100 at the same time…not too many girls do that nowadays………
Anonymous asked: Are you single? And if not, when will you be b/c I am HIGHLY convinced that you wont wanna be with another female(or male) after you get a dose of how I can treat/'Do'(take that however you want ;) to you...
lmaoooooooooooooo #nocomment.
(via iamlolamcflyy, fuckmaker)
Sexually Frustrated.. and this is what i need.
I miss the sound of your voice. The loudest thing
in my head. And I ache to remember all the
sweet, perfect words that you said.
(Source: thediarybefore)
